A lot of the writing on this page is from my earlier blog, Wisdom, Truth and Tofu. I wanted to share where I practiced my writing, where I flexed my muscles. No one was watching too closely, so I could experiment. I needed the pressure of knowing someone could read it so I made the effort – does that make sense?
I didn’t have much of an audience, possibly just my parents and a kind friend from time to time. But it was my space to write before I started to take my writing to the libraries and book shops. Everybody has to start somewhere right?
What follows is a mash-up of some earlier ramblings. This was in the beginning…oh and I should warn you – I was going through a lot of changes and challenges in my life when I wrote these words. Writing is certainly useful therapy don’t you think? I worked through a lot of my emotions. If you read closely you’ll see how I was transforming and starting to become the person I am today. Isn’t writing amazing!
A CLOSED MIND IS A DANGEROUS THING
Ignorance, blind acceptance, the inability or refusal to look at things from a different perspective, stubbornness, self-righteous arrogance, fear – however we describe it, having a closed mind and not having an open mind is a dangerous and limiting stance to take in life.
Open your mind, open your life, open your heart to new possibilities, new experiences, new opportunities, new beliefs, new interests, new people and new situations.
MAKE CONNECTIONS A PRIORITY IN LIFE
Perhaps life is less about finding myself and more about connecting with others? Maybe life is less about looking within and more about reaching out to people and making connections. Is this the secret formula to a happier, more satisfying existence?
That’s what some people do — you know the people who have to win, they can’t agree to disagree or better still find some kind of compromise — if they can’t win then at least they can feel superior by making you feel stupid. It’s a cheap shot but they know it works!
I must be perfect at everything I do and avoid making mistakes.
I’m perfect at being imperfect – I always make mistakes!
What do you think is an easier sentence to live by? I’d say that the latter sentence is more realistic about the challenges of daily life.
No one is perfect, no one’s life is perfect. The concept of perfection is an impossible made up ideal. Why put that pressure on yourself? Why do we have to be perfect people and why are we not allowed to mess up and make mistakes? Isn’t it more interesting to take the wrong turning – you never know what you might discover! You never know who you might meet, what you will learn about yourself.
Why not give yourself a break? Why not accept that being imperfect is actually perfect and realistic in this absurd world. We are all imperfect. We are human beings.
I’m highly suspicious of people who tell me about their perfect life. The people who never ever make mistakes EVER! They have never done anything crazy, ridiculous, silly, bad, stupid. The people who tell you how every aspect of their life is perfect. This is not possible. In the story that is life we will have major low points and high points. It’s a crazy ride and no one is able to stay at the top smiling sweetly (or is that smugly?) for an entire life time. There’s dark times and bright times. Ultimately I’ve noted that it’s the darker times that allow for growth. But you may be different.
No one is perfect and we shouldn’t aim to be. It’s unhealthy. We should make mistakes and be allowed to grow from them. We all make mistakes (lots and lots and lots all through life!) and hopefully we learn from those mistakes. When we stop trying to be perfect, we start learning from life.
P.S It’s OK to not iron your clothes, it’s OK to feed your kids frozen fish fingers AGAIN, it’s OK to only spot clean your floors with baby wipes and it is always OK to buy cakes from the supermarket and chuck them on a nice plate!
If there is one thing that irritates me more than running out of milk (again) or having to clean the toilet (again….I have three adorable Sons!) – If there is one thing that grates at me – it is rudeness.
Let’s quickly consider if rudeness is necessary? I mean how does being rude benefit anyone? How does it benefit the smooth running of daily life? How does it enhance our life? It doesn’t.
Hey we all have our crappy days, weeks and years when we want to scream and kick and lash out at society but it is not the checkout assistants fault. Unless your loved one has just died or your life is rapidly falling to pieces? OK then…maybe then you have a right to be difficult. But still, is being rude and obnoxious actually going to help your terrible or heart breaking situation. Probably not.
Like the gentle act of kindness that can spread, so too can the act of rudeness. After all when someone is unfairly foul and rude to you, it is tough to remain chirpy.The most upbeat person can feel flat and worthless thanks to a sprinkling of rudeness dust.
Is it so difficult to say please, thank you, excuse me, or even sorry?
Is it so difficult to smile at a baby when he smiles at you?
Is it so taxing to move to the side so a person can get by? Did you really need to growl or tut at me just then?
Is it really essential that you beep your car horn because the car in front took half second too long to move forward?
Is it really important to act superior towards people who are serving you in shops and restaurants? (We are not superior. If anything being rude to someone doing their job makes us inferior and a ridiculous human being).
Rudeness. It is 99.9% of the time unnecessary. Are you with me – do you think the general public need to take personal responsibility?
So you have a crap life. So you had a bad morning. Join the club. Who hasn’t had crushing lows? Lashing out and inflicting others with anger and frustrations is probably not going to help. Instead of spreading negativity to your fellow citizens, how about spreading some positive vibes? Just a thought.
P.S This post is dedicated to all the people who beep their car horns at me due to me causing them the slightest half second delay in their busy and incredibly important life or the annoying people who push in front of me at a supermarket queue, ignoring me with baby and trying their best to ignore the person serving them too. Just give it a rest! It’s not cool. For goodness sake calm down and play nice. You’ll be dead before you know it. Be kind and make some friends!
CONSIDER YOUR OWN BEHAVIOUR
Yup aren’t beliefs a great thing? To believe in things that we think are important or ethical or just or right. Beliefs are so personal. They can say a lot about a person. To have beliefs – give people an ‘impression’ of who we are – what’s actually important to us.
But what you believe in doesn’t make you who you are. It is your behaviour that matters most. We can talk the talk but can we walk the walk? As the old saying goes – actions speak louder than words.
What do you reckon?
I AM SCARED
Ever feel anxious? Ever feel apprehensive? Do you want to know the truth? I do. Surely we all do from time to time?
In the past, I was always quite resilient. Robust. But in recent years I seem to be struggling to move forward. Which is rather unfortunate as I would very much like to erase some challenging memories for good.
And so here I am at 30 years old and I am a little stuck. Not fully stuck, but a little bit.
I think I am changing. And when we are changing, we kind of need to sit down and think a bit more.
I was always someone who could smile and behave in an upbeat manner no matter what was going on in the background. The Oscar-winning performance for best actress goes to….These days, I feel rather limp in comparison. Is it an age thing? Do we become less willing to play along as we grow older? Do we put up with less bull shit as we grow up? Everybody knows the old woman who says exactly what she thinks much to horror or amusement of her family.
Where has that jaunty, spirited girl gone? I guess she got squashed and stamped on one too many times. Have you ever been pushed to the side? Have you ever had your self-esteem squeezed to within an itch of its life? Your reputation bundled up, repackaged and thrown out with the rubbish? It turns out – people think they know you and me – but they don’t – they don’t even know themselves. If any person can feel content when they are undervalued and ignored – do tell us how? Everybody wants to feel loved and accepted. We are quite simple creatures really.
So you see I am a little bit anxious and scared. I want to find that lively young girl again. But I fear she has packed up and left for good. The one who was forever hopeful and far too trusting time and time again. I miss her innocence and her stupidity.
Today I feel wary of people. It feels scary to let anyone in. What if I make a mistake again (I will mess up! We all do), what if I say the wrong thing (which I will – of course I will – I am human). Then what? How will this person see fit to punish me? By exclusion, by gossip, by silence? It happens. It has happened too much already. How can my ego take another thumping? How can my spirit survive another flogging? How do I push pass this fear and start over? I really want to start over. I just want to be loved, to be valued and to give love back. Nothing complicated! But I am scared…I have lost my ability to reach out. Somehow I must find the strength to start over.
*** And I did. I started over, reached out to positive people and followed my dreams. Anything is possible! Trust me on that one.