Welcome to Alana Munro's blog – #1 bestselling kindle author of Women Behaving Badly – Exposing the Truth about Female Friendship and Book Marketer/owner of Reach for the Stars – a quality yet affordable book marketing service ran by authors for authors. You'll also find poetry, inspirational posts, photography and her writing. Connect with Alana today!
Author, Bill King contacted me recently (after noting that I was passionate about finding positive solutions to bullying) and asked me to publicize his latest work on my blog. I believe his book will offer parents, teachers and kids guidance, reassurance and support to live a more positive life. Well done Bill, I wish you every success with your latest venture! Here’s what Bill has to say about his new book:
Sometimes we think “Kids are young. They won’t remember. They’ll bounce back from any adversity.” But today they’re faced with issues we never imagined when we were growing up. Times have changed, and much has not been for the better. Think about how you felt growing up. We did not hear about kidnappings, school shootings and the like. Sure, all kids can have it tough at times, but in a post 9/11 society many things have been lost or forgotten and one of them is our youth’s Self Esteem.
Statistics that stink!
90% of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of bullying.
87% of students said shootings are motivated by a desire to “get back at those who have hurt them.”
75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities like cutting, bullying, smoking, drinking, or disordered eating.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death in younger adolescents in the US (10–14 year olds)
Those statistics are too powerful to ignore. They will have lasting consequences on future generations unless we do something about all this negativity NOW. The underlying issue is that most of our kids are not even aware of the effects of negative thoughts on their self-esteem and thus do nothing about it. Without the essential tool of awareness they are destined to relive old belief patterns and repeat the same negative behaviors over and over again.
When children become aware of their thoughts and build high self-esteem, there are SaWEET Consequences. They make better decisions, and make new positive choices. For example:
91% feel better about themselves.
76% show improved grades in school.
80% have better school attendance.
90% get along better with other kids.
STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS is a revolutionary book that provides kids the proven steps necessary to deal with everything our youth are faced with today. STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS offers a fun new accessible approach to exterminating negativity while inviting YOU to change YOUR LIFE for the better!
We all now know how important it is to stop bullying and violence in schools, on the playground, and at home. This topic has been in national headlines over the last few years and now there is a book that offers a solution to help stop bullying before it even starts! This book is for the kids, however we need parents and educators to be the leaders in turning this situation around. Want to change a kid’s life for the better? Want to be a part of the SOLUTION? Buy STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS and share it with the important younger people in your life. – See more at: http://www.idontstink.com/stinkinthinkinstinks/#sthash.actJY32z.dpuf
In STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS young readers receive proven techniques to recognize, deal with, and lessen the negativity that holds many of them back.
Become aware of negative thought patterns
Discover ways to eliminate negative thinking
Learn how to avoid negative pack mentality
Access the positive in life, school and at home
Develop techniques for dealing with negative people and situations
Embrace positivity as the dominant way of thinking
Full of fun exercises and activities, designed to provide kids with real tools for changing negative habits and increasing self-esteem, STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS offers a fun new accessible approach to exterminating negativity while inviting YOU to change YOUR LIFE for the better! STINKIN’ THINKIN’ STINKS will inspire discussion, introspection, and positive change in all ages of readers.
Bill King is a writer, speaker, and mentor. A master of designing and implementing processes to simplify complex issues with amazing results, he used this gift to design fun, exciting and educational ideas to help kids deal with negativity, low self-esteem, bullying and anger. He teaches kids positive thinking, kindness, forgiveness and awareness in a way they can relate to. In addition, Bill is a certified DDI, Inc. (Developmental Dimensions International) trainer and has conducted hundreds of training classes, seminars, and workshops. His life’s mission is to provide service to others to help them define and achieve their goals. Bill has written several books, notably 7 Days to Inner Peace: The Building Blocks of Awareness, and the adolescent’s version called The Building Blocks of Creation: An Adolescent’s Guide to Awareness. – See more at: http://www.idontstink.com/stinkinthinkinstinks/#sthash.actJY32z.dpuf
Posted by The Mean Girl Extinction Project in Bullying
I never really experienced bullying growing up, though I knew mean girls. As an adult, I have not been targeted by “mean women” although I have had interaction with plenty of them. The truth for me is, I surround myself with positive and healthy friends and I am very blessed and thankful. I am completely aware, however this is not always the case. All you have to do is be on Facebook and you can recognize them right away.
A while back I met a woman who had contacted me after finding out about our project. She had asked me if we had anything for women who are being bullied. She went on to share with me a horrific story of losing her job, a result of one “mean woman” who just didn’t like her. She felt wrongly fired and was spending a lot of money trying to fight it in court. I took a poll last year asking women if they had ever been bullied by “mean women” with socially at work and the results were shocking.
This month as we share awareness on girl bullying, I wanted to make sure we included something about women bullies or “women behaving badly.”
I would like to introduce to you author Alana Munro. She recently wrote the book, Women Behaving Badly and she tackles this issue of adult female bullying. Here’s what Alana has to say:
‘Mean girls’ are all around us. We can’t always dodge their sneers, taunts or contemptuous hissing and often we can’t halt their quest to crush anyone who stands in their way. However, we can acknowledge that this aggressive (and often hidden) behavior does exist between females.
Opening our eyes to the toxic behavior that can go on between girls is a positive leap forward. Awareness of the pain caused by ‘mean girl’ behavior can help us navigate and protect ourselves and our friends from their negativity. We don’t need to suffer in silence anymore. We don’t need to accept their cruelty. We can band together and say no to their heartless mind-set.
I decided to push forward and share my experiences of female bullying, toxic behaviors, and ‘mean girls’. I wrote a book and titled it ‘Women Behaving Badly – Exposing the Truth about Female Friendship’. The response has been astonishing. Many young women, older women and girls have come forward and thanked me for my honesty. They feel liberated. They are no longer alone in their painful and often invisible struggles between the females in their life.
In my book, I have shared many deeply personal stories from my own life about how girls and women can sometimes behave, how we can protect ourselves and how we can secure healthier friendships in the future.
I am an ordinary woman who has experienced a ridiculous amount of bullying and manipulation from females. I wish to raise awareness about the hideous behaviors and wish to shield girls from the horrors I have endured.
We girls have fought long and hard to be equal. We have demanded respect from men. And now I believe we should demand respect from each other. We must respect each other and support each other. Trying to bring down another female and cut her down to size doesn’t help anyone.
We must be inherently willful and determined to live a happy life. Don’t let the ‘mean girls’ persistent cruelty defeat you. We must continue to raise awareness about female aggression and refuse to accept it. A responsive and mindful approach will go a long way. Ignorance only serves the ‘mean girls’ and gives them freedom to run wild with their perceived power.
Author, Alana Munro’s book seeks to raise awareness about the toxic behaviors that can go on between females.
The book is receiving brilliant reviews
*Information on this important project:
The Mean Girl Extinction Project is in the process of being completed. Look for it to provide resources to help parents identify a “mean girl,” how to counsel their own daughters if they are the victim of girl bullying, and ways they can work together with their daughter’s principal and teachers.
Educators will find lesson plans that teach anti-bullying awareness and resources to train them how to detect relational aggression used by girl bullies and ways to effectively approach “mean girls” before they attack.
Victims of “mean girls” will have a safe place to report bullying and find resources and support to positively handle the bullying.
The Mean Girl Extinction Project blog is a resource to keep you up to date by providing helpful information on girl bullying. Practical tips, advice from experts–including insight from Jordan, who is in the combat zone herself–Easy application, and real life stories of victims, parents and teachers will inspire us to work together as a community to raise up healthy, respectful and kind young girls. Our goal: To combat “mean girls” one girl bully at a time.
Author, Blogger, Speaker.
*Why did Shaylene and her daughter start this project? Here’s what she has to say:
Recently, my 13-year-old daughter came to me upset about a friend who was being bullied on the popular social media site, Facebook. She shared with me the video of two “mean girls” (girl bullies) spouting offensive and ugly things about her friend on another teen’s homepage. I was shocked to realize the friend who was being bullied by a couple of “mean girls” had no way of removing the slanderous video because it was on someone else’s Facebook page.
My daughter wanted to jump in and support her friend, but I was fearful she would become the next victim of their vile attacks. I too wanted her to stand up against the ‘mean girls’ and stand for her friend. I was just unsure how to do that and still keep her safe.
As a teacher and a mentor for junior high and high school girls, I know firsthand the difference education makes and the devastation ignorance can play in any situation. This incident led me to want to protect my daughter and any other girl from being bullied in the future.
After some research about bullying, I was horrified to discover girl bullying is on its way to becoming an epidemic. It is not easily recognized, so it is hard to stop the bully before they inflict damage. Girl bullying is all too often covert. It can easily be overlooked as the unfortunate part of forming cliques and social groups. As young girls reach puberty, the behaviors girl bullies use to embarrass and humiliate a victim are viewed as the victim just being over emotional. “Did she really mean that or are you just over exaggerating?”
Reality check: Where boys often use physical intimidation to have power over their peers, girls tend to use social power to intimidate. Relationships are used as weapons to inflict emotional pain through ostracizing, social isolation, or ruining someone’s social standing in the popularity hierarchy by way of rumors. This is nothing new, but with social media playing such an important part in everyday life, rumors spread can hit Facebook, Tumbler, Instagram and Twitter in a matter of seconds. Not just reaching a victim’s own peer group, but every peer group known to mankind. The damage can often feel permanent.
Conversations with Jordan (my daughter) about girl bullying made us both realize not only was it prevalent in her school, but there really wasn’t any anti-bully resources and support specific to girl bullying. It was then Jordan and I decided to start The Mean Girl Extinction Project. This project is a campaign designed to provide awareness, support, and resources for victims, parents, educators, and the community. It is our hope that this campaign to fight the “mean girl” or girl bully in a positive way can rid our schools, social circles, and community of “mean girls” altogether.
If you have a good friend, hold onto her, please don’t hurt her. Image – Google Images
*This piece is dedicated to all the ‘friends’ out there who have hurt me deeply by holding onto their toxic grudges, trying to tear me down and ignoring my personal pain. Guess what? I’m still standing. I refused to let your negativity into my life.
All I wanted was your friendship but instead you dispensed contempt.
Administered with wrath, your frenzied rage barked.
Slashing my character to chaotic ruins.
With a sneer and a mock, you abandoned the remaining wreckage of our bond.
Your bitter tantrum surging with revile.
You vilified me, made me your prey.
Grasping snug onto your tiny grudge you broke your loyalty to our union.
Your desire to win and your need to be right was valuedmore than our sacred partnership.
But how can you feel triumphant when you have hurt another person who cared for you?
Still peeved, still hungry for revenge, you recruited a feminine army against me.
What was my crime? What did I do to deserve your heartless conduct?
You never got what you wanted from me.
You disregarded my sorrow. It didn’t register in your icy soul.
You presented a drama but your tears were phony.
You struck me down and erased me when I needed you most.
You whipped up an indignant story. You played the causality with such easiness.
Your enlisted enthusiasts huddled around you with concern and scowled at me.
Your web of deception swaddled and stifled the truth.
What was my crime? What did I do to deserve your heartless conduct?
You never got what you wanted from me.
Why aren’t you sorry for your behaviour, friend? Why do you continue to discount the truth?
Where did your empathy go? Where did your loyalty go?
Your emotions are wrapped up and drowned in bitterness.
Your feelings are obscured and consumed by your envy.
Your thoughts are engulfed and swamped by your insecurity.
You can’t see me friend. You can’t see that I was your friend.
You allowed a toxic grudge to blind you.
Your spiteful behaviour ensured our friendship perished.
I had the right to say no. I had the right to turn down your desires, your demands and your wants.
I could tolerate your absurd requests. I could endure your farcical wishes. I could almost suffer the social ostracism. I swallowed the steps you took to leave me powerless.
But my friend, I prohibit your apathy, your indifference, your unkindness when all I had shown you was love and compassion.
Now I must fight against the grudge I feel about you and your cruelty. I do not wish to become you. But my heart is in tatters and it’s hard to rebuild after your destruction.
What did I do friend? To deserve your emotional brutality? To deserve your ruthlessness? To deserve your loathing?
You never got what you wanted from me. I didn’t skip to your tune. I didn’t appease you. I didn’t follow you blindly. I stood up to you and your manipulation.
Somebody had to say no to you friend. That somebody was me.
*I wrote this to try to understand why a few different women from my own personal life have behaved badly towards me. These toxic women were inspiration for my book. The full stories behind their betrayal and hurt are in my best-selling Kindle book, Women Behaving Badly – Exposing the Truth about Female Friendship.The book has been a great source of comfort as I worked through my personal hurt and tried to ‘make sense’ of the toxic behaviours that some women display with such ease. The women who ‘pretend’ to care but they most certainly don’t care. The women who hold onto grudges and allow them to fester and grow. The women who bully and manipulate. The women who have stamping hissy fits when they don’t get what they want. I’ve experienced it all and much more.
Once upon a time there was a girl named Suzanne who really loved NSync but really hated me. She would say that my hair was frizzy (which it most definitely was) and that I was a loser.
For clarification’s sake, I wasn’t a loser. But I was frump girl.
Regardless, the bullying was real. Later we became friends, but I still have the memory of how nasty that felt. Why am I telling you about my bitter, unresolved issues of the past? Because that is how I’m introducing you to Alana Munro.
When I grow up, I want to be like her. Not just because she’s breathtakingly beautiful.
That’s Alana – ‘Mummy to three kids and a daft dog that doesn’t know what ‘stay’ or ‘sit’ means no matter how much we train her…’
Her book, Women Behaving Badlyis epic. That’s why I’m also including a giveaway at the end of this interview. Trust me. If you are female, know a female, or are so glad you aren’t a female, you need to read this book.
So I’m giving you an interview with her, and in the interest in full disclosure, I got the inspiration for the interview questions from the interviews that she does for other authors. #Imsogoodatthisbloggingthing.
Let’s start with some tidbits. Will you describe your typical writing day? Sore hands from typing, blood-shot eyes from the lap top, cold tea, forgetting to eat. When I am in the zone – I am in the zone.
What do you like to do when you aren’t writing? Relax with some red wine, go out for a nice meal, watch a funny movie, go for a long walk, and search for bargains in charity shops.
If you were forbidden from writing for a year, what would you do? I have no idea! I think I’d probably come up with some crazy business idea or take up a new creative hobby just to pacify my active mind.
What is your favorite food? Italian. I just can’t say no to a cheesy lasagna, garlic bread and red wine. It is a major wheat over load and boy I will suffer! Ah but it was worth it!
What’s your dream house look like? It doesn’t have to be huge as that just means more rooms to clean. Yawn! I’d prefer a cosy cottage with a nice garden to grow some fresh herbs. I’d love to be in the country too. I love a bit of city life, but I seem to prefer the quietness of the country.
What is your biggest fear? Anything awful happening to my kids or husband. Anything else can be fixed or worked out. When anything bad happens I always say to myself, ‘Okay, we are all still here, alive and together, so it’s not the end of the world’.
How would someone else describe you? It’s interesting how other people see you. Often they can be completely wrong or right on target. I think my husband and family would describe me as sensitive, compassionate, passionate, open-minded, easy-going, funny, laid back. Of course they love me and are rather biased!
Do you need privacy to write or noise? I need some privacy. Some head space.
What’s your biggest distraction from writing? My toddler! He is cute though, so he is forgiven.
Do you have any advice for new self-published authors? Build connections. No man is an island and no author is an island. It is absolutely essential that you build a support group of like-minded souls. Writing can be very lonely, we all need a little help from our writing buddies. I started Support-a-Writer over on Google + and since that day I have felt connected to people and much, much happier to pursue my writing. We are all sharing this adventure together and doing what we can to help each other out.
Summarize your book in ten words. Weed out toxic women, secure the healthy friends in life!
Tell us what inspired this book. Personal experience. I’d had far too many females bullying, bitching, gossiping and manipulating me. I decided it was time to expose these passive aggressive behaviours. There is this assumption that post high school girls start to behave. Well, yes some do. But some ladies never grow up. They continue to play games and hurt their girlfriends. It is not acceptable. I wanted to shine the light on these toxic women. I wanted to help other women pin point the toxic behaviours and find healthier, happier friendships. We don’t need to put up with their negative crap!
Do you plan to write another book? I’m working on it! I am trying to schedule time as I would love to feature my reader’s personal stories about Women Behaving Badly. I have had plenty feedback and lots of readers telling me their ‘horror stories’ of friends gone bad, so I’d love to reach out to those readers. So, if you have a story to tell about a friend going psycho on you, bullying you, hurting you or just generally driving you nuts – I want to hear from you! Just go to my blog and hit a contact form. Here’s the link – http://alanamunroauthor.com/
Thanks so much for coming by, Alana!
Don’t forget to enter the Rafflecopter below to win a free $10 Amazon gift card and a copy of the e-book Women Behaving Badly!
***Thanks for a fun interview Katie! I love knowing you thanks to the blogging world.
A professional book review by owner of ‘What is that book about?’
Michelle who runs ‘What is that book about?‘ says: I am one of those people who just absolutely love and appreciate books. I may not like every genre but for the ones that I enjoy, I will not turn down any book. There are so many books out there that are wonderful that so many of us haven’t yet heard of. I always say that there is not an expiration date on them so the best discoveries may be of those that have been written at anytime just waiting to be read.
I decided to create this site because I was inspired by a moment that I had visiting a library. Jokingly, my frequent trips always would be a joke from friends that I would qualify for literary rehab but I finally had a moment that made it all worth it. I was looking up books on the computer when I heard a patron come in ask what was good to read. The person behind the desk said she wasn’t sure and gave her an out of date version of a famous newspaper’s top list. I won’t say but you know who it is. I just looked over and was like, really? You work in a library and can’t pick a book?
I find myself always talking about and recommending books. After chatting with the woman about some great titles that I thought she would enjoy, I said why not make a site where book lovers can chat and connect about books. For the ones who aren’t sure, we can give them some great ideas so they don’t have to miss out.
***Book Review of Women Behaving Badly – Exposing the Truth about Female Friendship.
How many times have you sought out answers about your relationships with women from one of those newsstand magazines or columns that you read in your local paper? After you read the answer, you are left with an answer that makes you feel good for the moment but leaves you with a question mark. Well, after reading this book, it will leave you with a lot more than that. Some people might get mad reading this book because of the brutal honesty but I think the majority will nod with affirmation because they have been there and can relate to many of the experiences. This is not a self-help book or a book that bashes women. It is bold, unapologetic truth that shatters the unspoken status quo of women behaviors involving their relationships with each other.
This book was definitely easy to read. The content was so engaging that you find yourself coasting through. I really admire the author for putting it all there. Her vulnerability and her introspective analysis throughout the book gave the reader much to think about. There is definitely something to be said from learning from your experiences. Drawn from her personal experiences and personal stories from others, it really gives you a firsthand account of truly how many women treat each other behind the cordial facade.
This book highlights the good, the bad and the definitely ugly aspects of what we are not, what we are and what we can be towards each other to acknowledge the truth and sustain meaningful relationships that complement our lives. Trust me, nothing was sugar-coated, fluffed or words minced. If there were seven deadly sins about women, then this book would define them. This book is definitely for all women from all walks of life. Once you read it, you will definitely look at your relationships differently.
Bullying in the work place – It is never acceptable. Please join my campaign to raise awareness about this toxic behaviour.
Hello friends. Can I ask you a favour? Can you join my campaign? You won’t regret supporting this crusade!
Please let me steal a minute of your precious time to tell you what I am campaigning about.
In a nutshell, this is a campaign to raise awareness of female workplace bullying.
I need women and men to come together who are against bullying in the workplace. People who refuse to accept bullying as an acceptable slice of a work environment.
Do you want to see healthy and abuse free relationships between women in the work place? You betcha!
Here are the facts:
Women bully women. Bullying between women is prominent and often relentless, yet it receives little media spotlight. Much less attention than sexual harassment or racial discrimination.
Female harassment is abuse. Work place bullying is abuse. Just because it happens between women doesn’t mean it is any less distressing for the people injured. It is cruel emotional exploitation and it is harrowing for women to experience. And let’s not ignore that some men are also bullied by females in the workforce. But one step at a time. I can only fight one battle at a time. For now, I am focusing on the ill-treatment of females in the workplace by their sisters.
That percentage only accounts for the people who have actually reported the abuse and it certainly doesn’t show the bullying that is not reported or not lodged by Human Resources. The true figure is no doubt much higher. Most companies do not have an anti-bullying policy and some companies will not have a clue what to do to help.
What if it’s your Manager or the chick in Human Resources who is bullying you? We can’t assume that the abuse only happens between equal work peers. Just as we can’t assume that bullying magically ends post high school. Or it’s only a stern male boss who tends to bully. What rubbish. Anyone can bully. And anyone can be bullied.
Debra Falzoi, a communications coordinator who was terrorized by a female boss at a Boston university, says:
“My female bully lied and gossiped about me and others. She used all indirect tactics. I have seen men also use indirect bullying tactics, but they’re much less frequent, and they have seemed solely to protect their ego rather than proactive moves to sabotage.
Falzoi eventually quit her job after reporting the harassment. Her boss did nothing, despite multiple complaints against the same woman.
So how do you know if you have a female bully in your workplace?
They are usually but not always, “rope ladders,” meaning they are women who climb to senior positions, then promptly haul up the ladder right behind them. While some tactically avoid helping other women in their careers, others can resort to passive-aggressive behaviour to protect their interests. They can be hyper-aggressive as they wish to prove themselves in a male dominated workforce or they need to keep you down low to abate their own insecurities.
Women bullies will often befriend you, pretend to like you and then air all your secrets later, in boardrooms or at office gatherings. Many victims are left feeling like they can’t trust women again after being humiliated like that at work.
The problem persists, as there are rarely anti-bullying policies in practice, unlike legal protection against sexual harassment or racial discrimination. Less than one percent of co-workers will speak up and report bullying of their colleagues, despite the obvious emotional torment, fearing their own jobs.
There’s only one truly effective way to report workplace bullying: treat it like a business problem. Report bullying to your superiors and make it a business case on how the bully is affecting your productivity and driving up absenteeism. The minute you talk about how emotionally traumatized you are, you’re unlikely to get any help.
If you make it personal, your managers could brush it off by saying it’s a cultural difference or clash of ideas.
Follow your instincts if you think you’re in a hostile work environment, and report it the right way.
Still unsure if you are being bullied or if you have witnessed bullying? Please read on.
How can we define workplace bullying?
Workplace Bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators that takes one or more of the following forms:
Offensive conduct/behaviours (including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating, or intimidating.
Work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done.
Indirect/Passive aggression which is often invisible to many – you feel uncomfortable, unwelcome and anxious.
Is driven by perpetrators’ need to control the targeted individual(s).
Is initiated by bullies who choose their targets, timing, location, and methods.
Escalates to involve others who side with the bully, either voluntarily or through coercion.
Undermines legitimate business interests when bullies’ personal agendas take precedence over work itself.
Is akin to domestic violence at work, where the abuser is on the payroll.
Synonyms that reflect the seriousness of bullying: Psychological Violence, Psychological Harassment, Personal Harassment, ‘Status-Blind’ Harassment, Mobbing, Emotional Abuse at Work
Euphemisms intended to trivialize bullying and its impact on bullied people: Incivility, Disrespect, Difficult People, Personality Conflict, Negative Conduct, Ill Treatment
Not calling bullying “bullying,” in order to avoid offending the sensibilities of those who made the bullying possible, is a disservice to bullied individuals whose jobs, careers, and health have been threatened as the result.
The Relation to Domestic Violence
Being bullied at work most closely resembles the experience of being a battered spouse. The abuser inflicts pain when and where she or he chooses, keeping the target (victim) off balance knowing that violence can happen on a whim, but dangling the hope that safety is possible during a period of peace of unknown duration. The target is kept close to the abuser by the nature of the relationship between them — husband to wife or boss to subordinate or co-worker to co-worker.
Please Join my campaign to raise awareness about workplace bullying. With your support, we can campaign to get work places to take female bullying seriously. It’s not some girls having a little drama – sometimes a woman’s self-esteem is completely destroyed as she is being bullied and tormented day in, day out. There’s no escape. She’s not enjoying the drama and wants it to stop.
I am saying today that it is NEVER acceptable to bully another person. Bullying, is not an acceptable part of work culture that we need to just swallow.
***A campaign badge will be coming soon for you to display on your own blog. Please message me if you are interested in this campaign. I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts.
Imagine if your kid’s school didn’t have a bullying policy? You’d be deeply concerned. You’d demand action! Those same bullies grow up and enter the work force. Why aren’t adults protected? Why do some work places not have clear guidelines on bullying? Does your workplace have clear guidelines? Do you feel safe in your work place? Have you ever experienced work place bullying?
Please answer this poll, thanks very much.
If you want to send me a private message, please use this contact form. Thank you.
Women Behaving Badly – Exposing the Truth about Female Friendship is about the toxic behaviours sometimes conducted between women of all ages. Bitching does not end as soon as females grow up. We all know about teenage girls – but what about forty-year old women with three kids? This book exposes the reality of being a woman. Not all women are nurturing or fair. Some women are mean and never seem to mature after their thirteenth birthday.I highlight and discuss the bad behaviours to look out for, such as jealousy, power games, competition, bitching, bullying, gossiping and more.However what is unique about this book is how deeply personal it is. Throughout the book there are many painful and often quite shocking tales of females behaving badly towards me. All of the stories are true and happened to me directly. The most unlikely ‘friends’ can turn toxic on us and I want to reveal what can go on behind the sweet smiles.It’s not all scary and nail-biting. I do believe it is possible to find healthier and happier relationships with females. I show you the tough questions to ask yourself to make sure you can protect yourself from the bad behaviours.
What genre is it?
It is non-fiction/real life.
What kind of readers will it appeal to?
Any person who wants to understand what motivates other females to behave in negative, passive aggressive ways, although a surprising number of males have read the book and concluded it has helped them ‘make sense’ of the young women in their own life.
The book has been recommended reading for young women who are being bullied or hurt by females in their life.
It is clear talking and easy to understand. There is no mind-boggling psychology jargon. This book was written by a young woman for young women.
Complete this sentence for us: if you like…books that talk straight from the heart and shoot from the hip (this book tells the truth, even if it makes us uncomfortable)
You’re a woman too, so have you ever been guilty of the kind of bitchiness you talk about in the book?
To answer your question…absolutely! I don’t know a woman alive who hasn’t bitched or been bitched about.
How would you like the reader to feel as they read the last word of your book?
Liberated. I want my readers to feel that they are not alone and it is possible to find healthier, happier relationships with females.
Tell us a bit about yourself.
I am a mummy of three, living down under in Western Australia.
We are actually a Scottish family but we thought we’d give the Aussie dream a try.
I am planning on writing my second book. I received a lot of positive feed back for Women Behaving Badly, so I really must continue writing.
It is a joy but lots of hard work! Let’s just say the house work gets neglected.
We know we are part of the publicity for this book, but we’re curious as to how the rest of it is going.
I have been interviewed on ABC radio in a live studio. That was amazing. They actually asked me back to do a segment called ‘Chick Chat’. I have also been interviewed by the press and the article was printed.
Bullying is rife in school and even at university, but let’s not forget that bullying in the work place is incredibly common too. Please don’t accept bullying as a normal part of your work culture. If a person makes you feel uncomfortable, hurt, uneasy, nervous or you witness bullying – please record and report the experience. Only by shining the spot light on bullies can we stop their toxic behaviour. If we all stand together, the bullies lose power. But first we must have the courage to say NO.
I wanted to share this new app. It’s a great tool to help you document bullying behaviour! Bullying can happen to anybody at any level of their career or whatever stage in life they happen to be in. Bully Buster is for you to say NO in your life to Bullying.
How it works:
First of all you decide who you want to know what is going on.
You then put in your contacts so that you can choose.
Bully Buster gives you a hand with the right kind of information – who was there, what happened and how you felt.
If you are at School and witness bullying, you can email your teacher and not be picked on.
If you are at work you can say what happened, who was there and how it made you feel.
If you wake up in the middle of the night or feel anxious after the event you can document that too – sometimes this goes to show just how greatly the bullying affects your performance.
Bully Buster does not replace talking to people, but sometimes if you are uncomfortable you can write how you feel better than explaining – it is a tool to help you – use it to change your life for the better!
Why this app?
I am an educated and smart woman whose career is something to be proud of – yet I have experienced bullying many times!
I have learnt unless you document your treatment – people in authority (teachers, bosses, Board members) don’t believe you – Bullies can be very charming!
According to WorkSafe Victoria, ”Workplace bullying is characterised by persistent and repeated negative behaviour directed at an employee that creates a risk to health and safety.”
This app helps you document how you feel and what happened to see if you do have a case!
This app does not give you any advice – it just helps you document your particular circumstances in order to get the appropriate advice.
About the developers:
Bron is the founder of Artymark Creative Marketing – she was one of Matt’s first customers and has 30 years experience in the non profit sector.
With over 20 years managing a dynamic team,he has extensive experience in supporting thousands of businesses start up, grow and succeed.
***You love to read cool books right? And what’s even better than a book? A FREE copy of my next book!
My debut book, Women Behaving Badly – Exposing the Truth about Female Friendship was released in 2013. It has been receiving excellent reviews and so I have been encouraged to write my second book. This next book will have a similar theme. It’s hush hush, I can’t say too much right now.
I am seeking out other women AND men to come forward with their own friendship stories. I hope you can join me for the ride! I have already had a few incredibly honest, brave and inspiring people come forward with their own stories. I am blown away by the clarity of thought, the interesting perceptions and honesty conveyed in the stories so far. Thank you!!!
I have received so many emails from readers (men AND women) expressing their gratitude and saying time and time again that my stories validated their own hurt feelings. I’ve even had people tell me how they feel liberated by my brutal honesty. Not all women are nurturing or kind! Some females have been ruthless, passive aggressive and manipulative. It hurts! It’s often hidden from the world. Not anymore.
I have read each email and took on board the pain and horrors that some people have endured. After some thought, I felt like many of these women and men deserved a platform. They have been silenced for too long, subjected to suffering by ‘mean girl’ nonsense in the work place and many people are still recovering from the scars of high school. Their stories and your stories of bullying, bitching and any other hideous pain females have put you through can be exposed. The behaviour and pain you have endured is not acceptable. I’ll help shine the light on this nasty and cruel behaviour.
Are you in? I am saying NO to bullying, NO to cruel behaviour, NO to passive aggression. I bet you are in now, right?
*** FREEBIE ALERT! All readers who fill out my questionnaire and reply to me with considered answers will receive a free copy of my second book once it is published. Simple yes and no answers won’t offer my readers anything valuable.
Please note – I don’t expect you to be able to answer EVERY question but please try to answer the questions you can answer fully and with depth. I want to know your thoughts, your feelings, your stories, and your history.
The questions I will email you are part of my research for my second book. You will be a contributor to my next book.
I truly appreciate your time and response. Hence the free book! Some of my questions may involve some soul searching. Please take your time and be as honest as you possibly can.
If I feel I can use any of your stories and comments I will contact you directly before I publish my book.
We can discuss if you wish to remain anonymous (this is not a problem at all and we can use a different name and make little changes to protect your privacy and to protect the people in your stories too) or if you wish to be credited and acknowledged in my next book that again is not a problem. I am more than happy to let my readers know all about your writing, your blog etc.
Whatever your choice, you must feel comfortable and I will fully respect your thoughts. You have plenty time to have a wee think about remaining anonymous in my book or standing on the stage with me.
So all you need to do is fill out a contact form. Too easy! Let me know you are interested and then I can get some questions to you.
I had to share this with you guys. I just thought, ‘Yes! We need to see more of this!‘
Do you remember being 14? Or do you try to block the memory? Oh that was a fun time wasn’t it? Erm no. Not really. Unless as the article says, you happened to look like a cute model and somehow navigated the moody hormones with ease? And even if you were ridiculously beautiful you no doubt worried and stressed about all the usual teenage issues! No one escapes the anxiety of these years.
Me? I was the gangly one – all legs and arms. I always felt too tall. Most the girls in my year looked so perfectly curvy and compact in comparison. Turns out they wanted my long legs as much as I wanted their curves. I guess we all have to grow into our new bodies and adapt to our evolving identities.
Do share your thoughts on these awkward in-between years. How did you survive? Do you have any advice for the kids of today?
If you are a teen reading this – chin up sweetie, trust me – it does get easier.
Then: 11 years old, 5th grade, in Billings, MT. Now: 35 years old, UX Designer residing in Salt Lake City, UT Photo: Awkward Years Project
Unless you were one of those kids with perfect teeth and baby model hair, you probably experienced the dreaded awkward years. You know, that uncomfortable time between bright-eyed adorableness and adulthood.
The series features photos of adults holding their most awkward childhood snapshots, and aims to make “people to be proud of who they’ve become.” The project also hopes to bring braces-filled smiles to the faces of kids currently in the trenches of awkwardness.
Then: 13 years old, 7th grade, Herndon, VA
Now: 32 years old, Communications Manager for the Utah Chapter of the Make-A-Wish Foundation, residing in Salt Lake City, UT
Then: 12 years old, 6th Grade, Taylorsville, UT
Now: 28 years old, International Model, as well as a Policy & Procedure Analyst at Discover Financial Services, residing in South Jordan, UT
Then: 12 years old, 6th grade, Salt Lake City, UT
Now: 41 years old, Paralegal residing in Salt Lake City, UT
Mashable is the largest independent news source covering digital culture, social media and technology.
**Alana Munro is the author of Women Behaving Badly – Exposing the Truth about Female Friendship. She was an awkward teen too.
It wasn’t an effortless book to write. I had to extract a lot of painful memories hidden in the dark cavities of my brain.
My book is bursting with real life stories of females behaving badly towards me, and so I was delving into my own heartbreak, my own personal anguish. At the same time I was pushing against my fears. The angst and apprehension of exposing toxic behaviours I had experienced from women.
Should I be that woman who stands up and reveals that not all women are reasonable and fair-minded towards other females? Couldn’t I just permit some other female to write the book and enjoy a tranquil life? But these were my stories. They are disturbing and unsettling. They were yearning to be told. They go against the widely held believe that females support each other. The stories I share in my book disrupt the notion of sisterhood. Perhaps sisterhood is just an optimistic ideology that only exists amongst some fortunate pockets of women?
It’s a book that may cause waves and I have to be prepared for that. Not all women will accept or agree with my perceptions. Some women may argue that all women are nurturing and I have just had unfortunate luck with women. Some women will dispute my stories and wrangle that I am exacerbating a little issue that is not a huge problem for most women.
There are of course more pressing issues in this world than women bullying and controlling their female friends. But my stories are real and sweeping over the toxic behaviours allows them to go on. I seek to shine the light on the sinister behaviours that can wreck a woman to the core. Many times, these behaviours almost tore me down. I have been emotionally shredded to pieces by women. The cruel behaviours do not always magically wind-up after high school.
I do wish to emphasis once again that this book never at any time generalizes that all females behave badly. Clearly and thankfully, many women enjoy happy and healthy relationships with other women. My book however focuses on the negative behaviours that some women do with surprising ease. With my book women can reflect and acknowledge that sometimes females can behave badly and hurt each other. We are not always nurturing or compassionate. The fairer sex can sometimes be unfair on each other.
It’s not that women are unscrupulous or horrible, it is simply that women are human beings. We have all the same repulsive emotions that men can have. We are not immune to atrocious or controlling behaviours. We also excel at passive aggressive behaviours which by their very nature are complicated and hard to pin point.
But what is perhaps extraordinary about women behaving ghastly is this behaviour is really not helpful. How can women expect equality and respect if they continue to stifle and inhibit other women? How can women move forward if they continue to condemn and strike out against who should be their own best ally? Only women know each others daily struggles. Aren’t we meant to be sisters? Why are we so tough on other women? Why do some women seek to crush other women?
In my debut book, Women Behaving Badly – Exposing the Truth about Female Friendship, I am trying to understand what is going on between women. Through my deeply personal experiences and years of soul-searching, I have assembled this book. I have amassed a ridiculous large number of true life stories of women behaving badly towards other women. And after each wound I have tried to understand the behaviour.
Click to find out more about my book
I jump head first into jealous behaviours, calculating power games, outrageous high expectations, bitching, grudges and competitive behaviour between women. I try to fathom why some women conduct their friendships with a negative feeling or toxic behaviour seething in the foundations. How can women expect healthy and authentic relations with each other if they have an agenda?
And so, yes it was a perplexing book at times to be writing but also rather stimulating. I do hope you’ll find my reflections and real-life stories thought-provoking. I’d love to hear your own personal stories. Please don’t be shy to drop me a line to share your thoughts and experiences.
In writing Overlook, I did hours of research on group dynamics and the issues that influence adult female friendships. I found many fascinating academic articles and several excellent books (most notably Queen Bee Moms & King Pin Dads by Rosalind Wiseman) that discussed the underpinnings of friendship. None of them were as candid and truthful as Alana Munro is in…
Ahh that light and breezy feeling when someone who is not related to an author leaves a super duper dazzling review and even blogs about your book! My goodness how wonderful. I love how Elizabeth could see what my book was trying to achieve. I'm not saying all women are mental, cruel or difficult, but 'some' are and well let's ask what's going on? Why are some ladies so highly strung and complicated? Why do some females expect so much from their girl friends? What's with all the bitching? Why are some women so tough on other women? She really 'got' me and that is a beautiful feeling for any writer. Thanks Elizabeth!
I left school in 1999. It was a day I will never forget. I walked out of those long corridors and never looked back.
I know that if I was at school in 2013, the bullying I suffered at the hands of my spiteful female peers would have naturally expanded into cyber bullying. At least in the 1990′s I had some respite from their daily hate campaign come 4pm. I had time to recover, lick my wounds and emotionally prep myself for another day of hell.
Children nowadays have nowhere to hide. The bullies shout abuse directly out of computer screens and smart phones. I could retreat to my bedroom, shut out the world for a few precious hours before I had to endure their aggression for another day. The kids now have their bullies in their home, relentlessly hissing and attacking, aided by social media websites – it’s round the clock emotional torture.
I’m hugely passionate about this issue. My apologies for getting all serious on you today, but dear readers, *our children need our help. We are the grown ups who embraced and then purchased this ‘social’ technology for our kids. Used the right way, sure it is useful and fun. But used the wrong way – to spread gossip and hate – ends in bullying, which can lead to tragedy. I’m asking you – what can we do to help our kids? The children who are suffering day in, day out – twenty-four hours a day with no relief? The children who have no where in this world that feels safe to hide? The clocks ticking. It’s already too late for many.
*I say our children simply because children are our future. Without them, we are pretty much screwed. So let’s take care of their mental health today. It is our responsibility to protect the younger generation who have been born into a world of new technology.
Please take a few minutes to watch this video clip.
Note: You can read more about my personal experiences of bullying in my new book, Women Behaving Badly.
Oh girls! They can be incredibly mean and sadly it doesn’t end after high school. Image: Google Images. Mean Girls 2004 Movie.
I’ve been quoted! Yes that’s right my friends – quoted. A person has quoted my words as inspiration for a blog post. Hip hip hooray, hold up your glass and cheer along with me. Do excuse my pride and silliness, but any wordsmith will surely understand the achievement and joy to be quoted.
I’ll hand you over to Monalisa, the blogger who decided to quote me. Thanks Monalisa!
*** The following post is Monalisa’s words and thoughts.
Women who shrug…
“Women who struggle to be fair and struggle to love themselves, will struggle to be fair and love other women”.
First off, I want to let the men know that not all women are crazy, nice-to-your-face but stab-you-in-the-back type creatures. Many of us hate those tendencies and wish to be more like a men when it comes to relationships: Live, Disagree, Let Go, and Move On.
The book, “Women Behaving Badly”, by Alana Munro is what all of us as women, if we are brave enough to speak out, have been saying for years. Bottom line: it is easier to have a friendship with a man than a woman. Men get mad, then get over it.
While working with junior high students for twenty plus years and researching bullying for the last 15 years, taught me that this problem starts early in a woman’s life. For most boys, they are pretty fair with each other. They fight, get mad, get over it and are friends again within minutes of the argument. Girls will fight emotionally and psychologically with passive-aggressive tendencies and occasionally they will have a hidden agenda.
Basically this is the usual progression: The girl will get mad, stay mad for weeks, months, sometimes years. The next step is to start spreading rumors, act nice and sweet on the surface while a raging tornado is churning away on the inside. If this storm is not dealt with, it will emerge into strange behaviors that is years in the making.
Too many girls excel at cyber bullying as it is passive aggressive and words can become powerful weapons. Photo: Bing
Talking with a teacher a few years ago, girls are now fist fighting in the halls, meeting after school, beating up the weaker girl and if this wasn’t enough, video-taping everything and putting it online for all to see. Cyber-bullying with girls has become a epidemic worldwide. Now, boys are catching on and video-taping girls as they bully and rape them.
For a current view of this, please click on the link below of the Steubenville, OH conviction of two young football players.
This ALL started with girls bullying girls and posting it online. See Lori Thompson, director of The Bullycide Project interview below: Note of Warning: There is a violent interaction between two girls: One girl starts hitting a autistic girl.
In my observations, I have seen a girl be strangely sweet with other girls but as soon a boy comes into the picture, will start picking on the poor guy, pretending to be coy and funny but it becomes obvious that this girl is looking to hurt his ego and his pride. This behavior would cause this righteous anger inside of me. Maybe that is why when I saw this, I would immediately take the girl to the side, correct her, and make her apologize to the boy. I would then go out of my way to let him know that all girls were not mean but strongly caution him to stay away from girls with this type of behavior. In the past, I always said it was because I raised my two boys to be men and my daughter to not give in to this “dark side”. (ha,ha, a little Star Wars pun). Recently talking with my daughter who is now a senior in college, she stated how she still prefers spending time with men than women. Her answer was simple: “Guys are less complicated”.
Even today, when I see a woman cutting down another human being, whether male or female, I tend to put a stop to it immediately, whenever possible. I notice the young females today are not easily persuaded by usual tactics. This means I have to become more direct with them and pull them to the side to correct them.
My thoughts: Why aren’t mothers and fathers teaching their girls to love themselves and learn to love one another: i.e. be a team player? What happened to our society that we have raised these women to be mean to others?
Well, I digress for now as this is a passion of mine to help the bully, the victim, and the standby/watcher. For now, if you are interested in Alana Munro’s book, “Women Behaving Badly”, it is available on Amazon via Kindle for $.99 or go to her blog at: