You’re leaving Facebook? You’re leaving us? You can’t leave Facebook!
Umm yeah I can and I have. (It’s a website. A website. I can leave a website).
But what about your book? How will you ever manage to promote your book without Facebook?
That’s a fair point. I have considered that. But I’m sure I’ll manage. Many books were publicised before Facebook. And many more will succeed after Facebook.
Life ticked along just fine before Mark Zuckerberg launched Facebook. I joined in 2005 and looking back, previous to my sign up, I managed to maintain relationships quite alright.
I’ve been trying to leave Facebook for about two years. Yes really! Pathetic isn’t it? It’s not an easy thing to do. Facebook keeps pulling me back in, sending out automatic but heart-wrenching emails to tell me that my friends miss me. Why don’t you come back and play with us? What’s wrong with you? Your friends need to see you? Look at all the fun they are having…
Those emails are wrong on two accounts.
1. They are emotional blackmail. They want me to feel bad for ‘disconnecting’ from friends. Of course hidden beneath the blackmail is Facebook desperately trying to recruit me so they can earn more revenue from me. Sick or what? It’s not about friendship, it’s about company profit.
2. Really? You are telling me my friends miss me? How does a website know that? Surely if people miss me – they can get in touch or I can get in touch. We are big boy and big girls - we can figure it out and reach people if they want to. It’s not really that complicated. I don’t really need your help Facebook. Thanks anyway.
I think the constant guilt inducing emails, trying to regain my loyalty wore me down. But not now. I am standing firm. Facebook you have messed with the wrong girl.
Life went by just fine before a geeky graduate had a bright spark idea to ‘connect’ people online. Zuckerberg managed to convince millions of people to rely heavily on his one website to communicate. He’s a clever chap, I’ll give him that.
But I’m terribly sorry Zuckerberg. You’ve had your money off me. We’ve had a good run. My friends who are actually friends will hopefully take the time to stay in touch. And as for my book, Women Behaving Badly? I’ll get creative and stop relying on one website. I’ll think out the box, just like you did Zuckerberg.